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Monday, September 20, 2004

Top 10 Signs Your Team Is Not Going To Win The NBA Finals, as read by 10 basketball Hall of Famers:

10. Oscar Robertson: "Owner won't pay for team to travel to away games."

9. Robert Parrish: "Coach used time out to go get Spike Lee's autograph."

8. Rick Barry: "Your teammate spends the whole game guarding the ref."

7. George Gervin: "Power forward has been out two months with the hiccups."

6. Willis Reed: "During the season, you lost to the Lakers and the Laker girls."

5. Walt Frazier: "Your team logo is a guy asleep in a hammock."

4. Clyde Drexler: "Much of the 24 seconds is spent on uncontrollable sobbing."

3. Bill Walton: "No one on your team can dunk without using a stepladder."

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: "Your best player is named Shaquille Wasserstein."

1. Bill Russell: "Many nights you have more groin pulls than points." (May 25)

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